These posts to our daily Teacher Leaders Network discussion group come from expert teachers who have long supported standards-based, results-driven teaching. Like quite a few other accomplished teachers in TLN, they're eligible for retirement and continue to teach because they have a passion for teaching. Or they did.
M, a middle school teacher, wrote:
This is how stressful this year has been for me. My kids had done pretty well on the first 2 hours of their math test. Our state test is 3 hours long, and these kids are 11 years old. Can you imagine? On our last day of math state assessment tests, I suddenly couldn't breath. As I walked around that morning and watched student after student click the wrong answer, I got sick to my stomach. I was heartbroken. I thought they knew their stuff.
I consoled myself by chatting with the other grade level teacher who felt the same way. Things got much worse for me at lunch. Suddenly I couldn't breath. My chest was thousands of pounds heavier and I just was horrified that this was happening. I couldn't get any air. Long story short -- I spent a chunk of time in the ER. Nothing cardiac but definitely a stress attack.
Because we do online testing, I know my preliminary scores already. I know how we did on each state indicator. I almost couldn't look. I know they'll shift some, but now that I've seen them, I'm OK with where they are. The weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders.
Who knew I was this uptight? I knew I had been dreaming about how I could teach something better and knew that if I was dreaming about it, I was really concerned. But not until this morning did I truly know how completely stressed out I was.
I can't imagine that this is what our teaching lives are supposed to be like. I'm sort of befuddled today and not sure what to make of the whole experience. Is anyone else having trouble breathing? Do you even know?
G, an elementary teacher, replied:
I'm there with you. No teacher or student should have to endure this kind of insane stress. We've a month until our state tests and the stress levels are already so high the building and all of its occupants seem to be ready to explode. The air in the building feels volatile.
Why have we and all those politicians and boards of education allowed this to happen? The teaching is awesome, but the "test preparation" sucks the joy right out of the air. I miss the days when this time of year we would put on our aprons to begin building our flower garden; weighing, measuring, and photographing the sprouts each day. I miss cranking up the boombox to dance to a Beatles tune with my students as we sequence count (and they concede the Beatles aren't so bad) or move words around on the floor as Beethoven inspires our right brains to birth poetry. I miss read-arounds sitting in the warm green grass, Jeopardy comprehension challenges, and giggling with my kids as we play with a litter of puppies while talking about mammals.
I miss "spelling volleyball" and "math touch football." I miss afternoon walks with my students, all of whom would have disposable cameras, meandering through the nature trail. I miss the Monopoly tournaments (no calculators allowed). I miss the chess, Scrabble and Masterpiece tournaments (we auctioned and traded art masterpieces ancient and modern) and let me not forget the dominoes, science jax, jenga, and pick-up-stix. They are the fondest of memories, but now there is just the test and hours sitting at a computer in preparation.
E., a high school teacher who recently became her district's testing director, replied:
I've been following the discussion strand concerning stress due to testing. I am the test director for our division now and I have seen this same hysteria among the teachers and administrators during testing. I would urge you to take a step back on the days of testing. Don't look at the questions or students' answers as they work. (In our state that's a security violation.) Step back and take comfort in the fact that you did all you could do to make your students achieve their best. You can do no more at the point they are testing. IF they don't do well, analyze your data and figure out a game plan for next year.
I would also urge you to put back in some of the games and things that you have abandoned. I spent two days with Eric Jensen at the ASCD conference and his research suggests that movement, meaningful practice in the form of games, etc. promote students' learning better than worksheets and browbeating.
By the way, at the ASCD conference I heard Deputy Education Secretary Simon speak. The quote of the conference was from his speech. "NCLB has made teaching and learning fun!" You guys just haven't realized how much fun you're having!!
